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Naomi Randall - Journal

17th October 1999

There's a lot of time to think when you're stuck on a boat in the North Atlantic. Everything that's been playing on my mind the past month or so was multiplied tenfold by the isolation. I had come to the conclusion that I was the Dawn of the group: the pathetic little one that was more like a dead weight than anything else, who kept getting in to trouble and needed the others to keep bailing her out. It seemed all the more poignant after the Phoenix referred to me as 'the key'...

And yet there seem to be all these people who think that isn't the case... The Phoenix told me that I was chosen for this because I have the right qualities - whatever that means. I could only assume that he didn't mean the ability to end up in hospital every five minutes.

I tried meditating a few nights ago, I used to find it so easy, but it had just been getting harder since all this began. I was hoping that by clearing my mind the answers would come to me, that I'd be able to find out what it was that everyone else saw in me but I couldn't. I did manage to meditate, albeit briefly, but I didn't find any answers.

And then we were there. The ship that was so big it was visible to us from four days travel away finally had us in range of its attack helicopters. They forced us to divert, or rather they forced Tom to divert the ship whilst Jake, James and I sped off towards them in a cloaked dinghy with the explosives.

The others eventually managed to catch up, and we headed towards the ship at full speed. Only problem was, due to the cloaking effect, whilst they couldn't see us we also couldn't see them. We ended up piling in to the side of the ship at break-neck speed. I didn't even realise what was going on until it happened, but someone else must have done. I heard a splash, felt some magic being snap cast and then someone span the boat round, throwing the explosives into the water and turning us so we hit broadside rather than head-on.

The next thing I remember is coming to in the water with my head pounding, I must have hit it pretty badly. But before I could worry about myself I saw Jake in the water below me, barely conscious and sinking. I dove down and grabbed him and whilst I managed to stop him sinking, I couldn't lift us both to the surface, I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't sure what to do, we had no scuba gear and there was no one close enough to help in time: Tom was speeding off after James, who was in an even worse predicament than Jake, Theo was struggling with the explosives and Merlin, whilst on his way, wouldn't arrive in time to save Jake who didn't have the benefit of having taken a lung full of air before coming down here.

I remembered something that Merlin had said back when we were learning to scuba dive, about reliance on technology and how, given he couldn't even pick up the basics, he would be using magic to breathe underwater. It's not something I've ever tried before but didn't even stop to think about how it should work, I just knew that it would. A second later and I was breathing normally, now I just had to worry about Jake. Fortunately there was a much easier, not to mention less painful, method available, and so I clamped my mouth around his and started breathing for both of us.

After a short while Merlin turned up. He was sat in Tom's wheelchair like it was a throne, Theo was next to him with the explosives, and they were all surrounded by a bubble of air. I got Jake safely into the bubble then started swimming down to Tom, who now had James and was coming back up. I did the same mouth-to-mouth breathing trick for James whilst Tom and his motorised torpedo pulled us both up to the bubble. Once inside I managed to bring James back to consciousness and then Merlin took us up to try and find an entrance to the ship.

It was only once all the excitement was over that I realised I'd been swimming around the North Atlantic in just my normal clothes and wasn't feeling the cold at all; I must have activated Tumo without even realising it.

Once on board we split up into pairs in order to plant our bombs in strategic points over the five-mile area. I was with Jake and we had to take out the hinges. Ours were to be the first of the bombs to go off and would act as an alarm for the crew of the ship to evacuate.

Whilst Jake was setting the first set I kept watch. I heard some footsteps coming down a corridor and went to invesigate. I hid in an alcove and watched as a big burly man walked past me. I could tell by the way he held himself that he was a soldier, but at the time didn't recognise the insignia on his arm. I was ready to fight, if I had to, but instead I managed to put him to sleep with my magic. I'd never managed to get that to work before...

Once he was tied up Jake and I went and stuck him in a lifeboat so that he'd be able to escape when things started exploding and then went to set the second set of bombs...

It wasn't until later that I found out his insignia was that of the Void Engineers. He was a space marine. A space marine! I've heard legends about these guys. They're rock hard, not the sort of people you want to go up against, and I took one out on my own! Even better, I took one out without even hurting him!

And then that was it. The bombs started going off, we got off the ship... we were a bit worried about Tom at one point, though to be honest I was a bit worried about him all the way through. Not because I didn't think he could handle it, I know he's more than capable of dealing with anything that comes up. I just like to be there to watch his back... just in case. I guess I'm over protective of him, though not for the reason he thinks, it's more like... like he's my little brother... I can't exactly tell him that though, can I?

It's over now. We're back on the Chaos Rainbow and everything seems a lot better. I feel more centred now, stronger too. I've realised that I let everything get on top of me, got panicked, can't think straight if I'm panicking and then stupid things happen. I just need to slow down, regain the control that I once had, stay calm. I guess important lessons can be learnt in the real world as well, something I've spent a good deal of time arguing for with my more ascetically minded brethren. I dunno, maybe I never really believed it until now though. But now it's all over I just want to go home, I have a lot to tell people.

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