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Naomi Randall - Journal

6th October 1999

I'm sat on a cold boat somewhere in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean. Tom, apparently, is a legend. Or possibly his predecessor is... he's got a kind of Doctor Who thing going on it would seem. We've joined up with his old side-kick, James, and are off to stop a giant, and seemingly impossible, whaling ship.

It's been eventful so far: Theo was kidnapped; I nearly drowned and got hypothermia; someone tried to blow up the ship; and Michael, the captain, got possessed by a spirit of paranoia and tried to kill us, actually managed to shoot Theo.

What is it with spirits though? They all seem to have a major bitch against me. First there's a werewolf working with big bad disease spirits to kill people, my people, then Nimue wouldn't even acknowledge my presence, and now this paranoia spirit seems to have something personal against me. At first I thought it was just the guy it was in league with, Mark, who was glaring at me the second I set foot on the ship, but then when it took full possession of Michael and turned the gun on me, despite having had it pointed straight at Tom's head previously... What am I supposed to think? Clearly there is something about me that really pisses spirits off.

And then there's James... I don't know, he seems to identify with me a little, though I get the feeling we're not necessarily communicating on the same wavelength, he's got a whole projection thing going on. He's got a definate problem with Tom, apparently he's not a patch on the Tom that James knew, and never would be because he didn't rate his chances of managing to live that long. It was when I told him that I'd see to it that Tom would live that long that he started 'understanding' me.

He launched into a whole thing about how we would be the ones protecing Tom, whichever one, and getting him out of trouble. Tom would always be the bright and shining light. And James or me, the sidekicks, were stuck forever in his shadow, happy just to bask in His Glory. At first I found it amusing that, despite him thinking Tom wasn't all that, he had still elevated him into demi-god status above the rest of us, but as he continued that feeling soon was replaced by something else. I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I couldn't help but feel like I was being manipulated. Was he really the loyal sidekick that he sounded like on one level? Or was the bitter undercurrent of resentment at having been stuck in the shadows all his life not just in my head? Was he trying to get me to turn against Tom by making me feel like a nobody?

But the main thing that worried me is how much he reminded me of Ellen...

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